Chains
by Doomed But Over It
Summary: Watanuki isn't the only one with chains.....
1. Chapter 1

**Chains**

**By Doomed but Over It**

When Doumeki came home, everyday, he didn't go to his room, he didn't go to the kitchen, and he didn't go to the shrine's center to empty the donation box. He went straight down to the shed at the farthest edge of the lot to his special, soundproof meditation room.

The room was soundproofed after years of smuggling carpets to stuff into the walls, years of hoarding pillows worn until the point of uselessness and shoving them in all the cracks, ages of effort to find the one place were he could be himself and never, ever, be heard. Technically, it was the back storeroom where all the junk was all the stuff the shrine needed to dump was kept. But Doumeki knew better. He knew the reason the door was padlocked was not because there was a possibility of heavy boxes and crates falling on top of you and crushing you. He knew the boxes had been moved or disposed of years ago. The padlock was to keep people out, or maybe Doumeki's true self in.

Doumeki needed a place where he could unwind and change, instead of being the being, the board, the figurine of wood. Everyday, he took three hours to just sit there. He turned it into an alternate shrine, devoted to everything he was not. If it was loud, vulgar, rude, obtrusive, he papered the walls with them. Posters, pictures, paintings, scrolls praising pagan gods, lewd drawings, newspaper articles, celebrities. No one ever noticed that the vulgar content was gone because this being a shrine, no one ever touched the stuff. At least, they never said anything about it, if they did see. The room was a secret. It was his invisible world made real.

Doumeki, in outward appearance, was the perfect man. The holy boy, so to speak. Some people doubted that he had even had his first kiss, not even mentioning more….intimate…gestures. They always though that his quietness was a matter of choice. If only. It was really something he had been pushed into by society. He was the shire kid, and he was too holy to play with the normal children. By the kindest opinion, he was unusually devoted, and by the (more common) harsh opinion, he was a snob. When no one paid attention to him, he turned invisible. He was only there for their benefit, to keep up appearances, and when they weren't there, he just…ceased.

He wasn't quite sure if he preferred it that way, or if he would rather have friends. On the one hand, if you were invisible, you never had to deal with anything you did not place in front of yourself. You could just create your own world and reside in it for the rest of your life. But an invisible world, with one invisible person, could be pretty lonely at times.

When he was about 13 he realized hiding was no longer an option. When he hit puberty, he realized the girls had already noticed him and apparently, the strong and silent type was in. all that meant to him was staying in the shadows was a lot harder than it had been last year. So, he gained a fan club that followed him through his high school years, until they were part of his inner world, just kind of there in the background, a silent mass of googling eyes and stifled titters. He knew that there was about ten notes a day passed with himself as the sole content, about his arms or his legs. He didn't think of this as vanity... Rather, this was a fact. Something which was to be acknowledged, filed, and ignored. He treated most of his social life like this. Just something to be organized and placed out of the way, in its spot in its pristine life.

Except that one boy, who never quite fit in any of the premade spots. _Okay. _Thought Doumeki. _This has happened before. _So he tried to put him into one of his hybrid spots, where the misc. stuff was kept. But he didn't really stay there either. He was like a cabinet, with that one corner you could never dust or clean, no matter how hard you tried. You couldn't move it, to get to that one place.

He supposed that's why he needed Watanuki. He needed the one thing he couldn't place, or categorize and set aside. He just kind of was there. And that worked, but at the same time it confused Doumeki to no end because it complicated everything. Who was this boy with the haunted blue eyes? With the too-pale skin, with the strangely exaggerated features and dark hair. Doumeki couldn't place him, so he began to spend time with Watanuki.

At first, it was curiosity. He was so intrigued with the boy that he could even put up with the ever present Himawari, with the insipid smile and the idle small talk. Doumeki figured that there was something off about this boy; just like there was something off with himself. Watanuki was a magnet. People, both alive and dead, were drawn to him, sucking him in greedily. But, after all the hurt, he couldn't be close to anyone. He distanced himself from everyone except Doumeki and Himawari-chan. He was remote, to be admired from afar.

But, he did stay pretty close to Doumeki, and was considered his "friend" so all the girls came to him and asked if he would _please _do them a big favor and ask if Watanuki would like to go to the movies, or get some tea, etc. etc. Even though Watanuki only acknowledged him to rage at him. That was enough for the prospective admirers.

Funny enough, these requests never reached Watanuki's ears. They were filed, ignored and pushed out of the way. Just like every thing else. Because of his status, as Watanuki's "friend" he was able to keep the shorter boy's fan club reasonably small.

The one girl he couldn't get rid of, and alternately did not want Watanuki's attention, was Himawari-chan. She wouldn't leave, she wouldn't let him have what he had worked so hard to get.

This one bit of unruliness that could shatter the order, break the shackles of cleanliness and orderliness and just break free. Himawari-chan was the last shackle that held him from the key. What made it even more frustrating was she was the object of his affections. It wasn't fair. She was the last obstacle that should have just been pushed away. He screamed mentally after all the months and months of frustration, of risking his life, and getting nothing but a bento. And even then, he had more to worry about than just Himawari-chan.

He had to get Kimihiro himself to realize how he felt, and maybe to see that he felt the same way. But not yet. He wasn't sure if he could take the answer yet, to take rejection without going mad. Watanuki thought that the only reason Doumeki stuck around was because he knew that Watanuki needed him. But that wasn't true. Watanuki had chains, yes, obligations, secrets, pain, but so did Doumeki. Doumeki was just better at hiding them. While Watanuki was at home, cowering under the covers, hoping with all his being that the wards would hold, but knowing that in his heart, one day, the wards would break and _they _would come.

Doumeki was hiding, also, in his room full of posters and loud music. The room that was the opposite of who he was, who he wanted to be. He wanted to be an individual. Watanuki was begging himself to make it stop, throwing himself against mental walls, hoping they would break before he did, while Doumeki was sinking further and further into his restraints.

If Watanuki only knew whose chains were killing who, maybe things would be different.

Doumeki was stuck. He couldn't voice what he knew, what he felt, and he couldn't not. He was just locking himself up. He knew one day, he couldn't come out again. He would padlock himself in the reality he wanted. Sadly, that would be okay with him, if it weren't for the one element that was missing. There was that one thing that would make his paradise into a hell. The lack of a blue eyed boy. If Watanuki only knew who needed who most, maybe things would change. But Doumeki couldn't say a word. So, he just waited.

Waited for Watanuki to realize that "Help me," wasn't just impossible to say for him.

**Author's Notes—Please R&R. This is my first Dou/Wata fic, but they are so canon its easier than I thought. I was so sick of Doumeki never having any problems except Watanuki not noticing his feelings. I also noticed Watanuki uses cleaning as a distraction, and Doumeki can only be messy when Watanuki is around/involved. Cleaning means opposite things to both of them, and thus, my story idea! Thank you for Reading! Please review on your way out! **

**Love,**

**Doomed**


	2. Chapter 2

Chains, part 2

by Doomed but Over It

Author's Notes-- Inspiration! I meant it to be a new fic entirely, but then...it started acting in strange accordance with Chains, so here we are, Chains-Part 2! Enjoy!

"Watanuki. I need to talk to you for a second."

Watanuki stopped bitching for a second, thrown off by the use of his real name.

"Eh?"

Doumeki was frustrated. He didn't know what to do about this specific problem. He, who all the answers had been apparent, as if someone had gone through his whole life with a highlighter and specified everything he should do and say, to acheive maximum success.

The problem was Watanuki.

_Who else? _he thought bitterly. _It's not like I spend my whole life obsessing over him, but now, after I said...all those things, I just can't believe all he would have said is "Thank you, but I don't know if I'm ready yet._

_" _How could he NOT be ready. All I've ever done was protect him. He needs me. All I did was save his life. He needs me." he said out loud.

Doumeki punched the wall. His fist went through the thin paper of the door, splintering several bamboo sticks. He blinked, forgetting he wasn't in his cell, as he had taken to calling it. The renaming had occuring after he realized he had started thinking of it as another duty, instead of an escape. He had tried to avoid it for a few days, but felt himself being drawn to it, like an addiction he just couldn't quit. He stepped, dragging his feet, making as much noise as his nature would permit, half hoping-half not that someone would stop him, question him and see past his obvious lies. Punish him, beat him, just stop him from going _there. _

No one came.

He dragged himself into the room, knowing this was the last time he would ever enter. Or leave. The padlock slid into place, sealing him into his soundless cell. His stomache clenched, knowing what must happen, for him to even have hope...

"Help me."

And he was gone, into a prison he had built, always knowing who the final prisoner would be.

Author's Notes--ACK! (runs and hides under her bed) Please don't hurt me too bad! I'm just a insignificant fly on the wall! NO FLYSWATTERS, I'M BEGGING YOU! (retreats deeper into the darkness.) At least it's short! (Hides behind KNSI)

Love,

Kiki Nalani Saraphina Isabel, muse extrodinare

(Doomed is still under the bed)


	3. Chapter 3

Through the Keyhole

Doumeki. Doumeki. Are you in there? Come out. Doumeki. Why is the door locked? Unlock this door, now. What's wrong? Can you hear me? Doumeki. Doumeki. I know you can hear me. Doumeki. DOUMEKI! Open the fucking door.

Listen, Doumeki. If you're in there, just come out. I know that there has to be a perfectly rational explanation, but help me out. I really

can't come up with any. Come out, we can talk about it. Things may seem bad, but nothing is worth what you're doing. Come out. Lets talk. What am I saying? You're Doumeki. I bet you're not even in there. I bet I'm talking to an empty room, and everyone is going to come and stare and point at the crazy boy talking to an empty room. God, let it be an empty room. Doumeki. DOUMEKI! Open the fucking door.

I'm so sorry. I was so awful to you. Please, open the door so I can apologize in person. I am pathetic. Even now, all I can talk about is myself. I understand if you don't open the door, but please. Doumeki. I can't take this. Please come out. Its all my fault. I shouldn't have ever gotten closer to you. Doumeki. DOUMEKI! Oh, God. Doumeki. Open the fucking door.

Why is it that you never cared enough to see what this was doing to me? Do you think that by you hiding in here you are making it all better? You are a coward. YOU'RE AN IDIOT! Come out of there, Doumeki. DOUMEKI! Is this making you feel better? Do you think that hiding is going to fix anything? YOU ARE PATHETIC! Come out here, you bastard and tell me why you are doing this. Doumeki! DOUMEKI! Open the fucking door!

Doumeki, if you come out now, I make you bento for the rest of your life. I'll do whatever you want, just come out. Doumeki. I'll..I'll make you feudal udon. I will find a way, just come out. Anything you want, even if its out of season, even if it doesn't exist anymore. Just open the door. Doumeki. DOUMEKI! Open the fucking door.

Doumeki! Are you all right? Oh my god. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?? Answer me! Doumeki. Please, are you alright?! Come out Doumeki! Please. Please. Don't be... Please, don't do anything stupid. Doumeki? DOUMEKI! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!

ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.ohgod.

Doumeki raised his head, the small movement taking almost all the energy he possessed. There was a ripple of disturbance in his tranquil prison. Doumeki blinked. The frantic tone was replaced by yelling. That was replaced by sobbing. That was replaced by cajoling. Finally, there was silence, marred only by a horrible emptiness that Doumeki knew was sobbing, even though he couldn't hear it.

Who could be crying for me? He wondered, mind totally detached from anything his body told him.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Someone was knocking against the door. Wait. No. This room was soundproofed. Someone was ramming the door.

Thump. _Shi._ Thump. _Zu. _Thump. _Ka._

Author's Notes– Whoa. Just when I thought I was finished with this story. Sorry. Don't read it if you're sick of it. Oops. That was kind of late. Sorry! Anyway, please read and review.

Love,

Doomed

(and the somewhat unreliable KNSI)


	4. Chapter 4

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Watanuki repeated his name like a mantra, keeping him going. His breathing was labored, his body growing limp, but he still threw his body at the door like a human battering ram, desperately trying to change what Doumeki himself decided must happen.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Shi. Thump. Zu. Thump. Ka.

Bruised and broken, barely breathing. Still, he threw himself at the door. The thumps grew weaker as Watanuki began to lose consciousness. Goddamit! I will not faint! I CAN NOT FAINT! Not until I know if... he slumped...clutching at his wakefulness like the a lifeboat that was just too full, and he was being pushed off.

Deep inside his tranquil haven, Doumeki tried to consider this problem. Someone was trying to get inside his gilded cage. He scrutinized himself for any sign of emotion.

Nope.

He tried another tack. Someone was probably going through great personal risk and expense to get to him.

Nada.

Someone actually wanted him to rejoin the world.

Wait...was that..? No. Never mind. That was nothing.

No. There it was again. Not any definite desire to come out, more...curiosity. Who knew that he existed? Who would care enough to actually try and get him out?

Watanuki.

The memory of the sapphire eyed boy that had been so diligently repressed sprang to his mind's eye. His heart ached at the savage attack of his subconscious. Who is Watanuki? He asked. Memories flooded back, of Watanuki flailing, his wild gestures, his too loud exclamations. He was a walking contradiction. Screaming, yelling, flailing, and then silent, calm, contemplative, warm.

The last adjective sprang to his mind unbidden. Warm..warm to Doumeki's cold. Always so warm. The fast smile that was so sweet it made you wonder if you dreamed it. The way his warmth turned to fire whenever his hands brushed Doumeki's.

Doumeki tried to push away the memories of his panic filled eyes, his creamy complexion, his hidden smile that he wore whenever he thought no one was looking. But Doumeki was always looking. Always.

No. What about his screaming, his hatred, his sulking?

_I don't care. _

Slowly, resolutely, he moved through the almost solid air to the door, fist drawing back, straining as if he held his bow, cutting through the air like a knife, to hit the soundproofed door with so much force, the boards rattled.

"Kimihiro!"

"Kimihiro!"

"KIMIHIRO!"

This time the words came on thier own, unbidden, ready to seal whatever fate he had already set in motion.

"SAVE ME KIMIHIRO!"

Yes, it was cliched. Yes it was corny. But this is my story, so I can send them through any kind of hell I want to, until I start infringing on copyright. Then I go to my super secret cave in India and hang out with all the other thirteen year old yoga master wannabe's. Cheers! Expect a update within the week. I'm bored, and KNSI is feeling frisky.

Love,

Doomed

(and the strangely active KNSI)

P.S. Happy Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza or Atheist Present Giving Day (Pick three and Roll With It)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chains... I forget how many there are at this point...**

**By Doomed but Over It**

**Author's Notes--- Hi, again! Thought I had died? No such luck! And now I bring you... chains 4.or 5...or was it 6? I forget. Thanks for reading. Please review! Feed the Author's Ego!! Ego: Hungry, Hungry, HUNGRY! **

**And without Further Ado, I bring you...chains 4-6! A KNSI production. **

"Shizuka." The name was a vague sigh on his lips, melting into a whisper. Watanuki's heart froze, unable to find warmth in the cold halls of the hospital. His hands circled around his rival, no, his friend, no! His...his...classmate's wrist. Doumeki's eyelids remained shut. Watanuki's slender fingers traced the scars, eyes widening as they curved onto his chest. Watanuki blanched. _Oh my god. How could I not know? How could I not see? How could I let you die?_

Watanuki's hand curled around something cold. He trailed his fingers along its outline, trying to figure out what it was. He quickly gasped as the sheets blossomed red where his hand was. _Knife. Knife. Knife. Why does Shizuka have a knife?_ His brain shut down, forming a perverse protection against the world, unwilling to put two and two together. _He wouldn't..._

He kept tracing the knife with his finger, the sheets turning the bloodstain from light red to a deep scarlet to a angry burgundy._ Knife, knife, knife..._the word played a sick soundtrack, breaking down his mental barrier. He alternated fingers, making them all feel the pain of his heart. Watanuki cried, wishing for Doumeki to wake up, to sneer, to call him an idiot.

_You jerk! Wake UP! WAKE UP! _His will pounded on Doumeki, forcing itself on him. _WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! NOW! _His hands grasped Doumeki's with a strength that he didn't know he possessed, his blood traveling on Doumeki's scars, painting them pink, a remembrance their origins. Watanuki clasped harder, his knuckles turning white. He whispered into Doumeki's ear. "Shizuka. Shizuka." When this got no response. "I told you I wouldn't help you. I told you, didn't I? Is that why you won't wake up?" Doumeki didn't even twitch. "Well listen, you jerk. I love you. I won't just stand here, and I won't watch you die. I'm supposed to die first. You have no _right _to die! I don't see any demons howling in your wake. I don't see any deranged souls tear at your essence. You bastard, you wake up and tell me why the hell _you _get to die when I still have to sit here and fight them, all alone." He ended his rant brokenly, forcing his voice to stay strong.

"You idiot." Doumeki whispered.

**The cliffhanger monster struck again!**

**One more chapter, I promise. And maybe, just maybe, I may come out of my closet of chastity and let ya'll have a little action….**

**So much LOVE!,**

**Doomed**

**P.S. If you care, check out my original fiction account. Please? **

** I know. So original…**

**P.P.S. To Lizzie—Ha! I DID use the phrase "force himself on you".,,,just not the way that you probably wanted….**


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